The Electronic Kiss Off

My brother in law Jeff (who gives me tons of great material for this site) told me yesterday about this article in the Wall Street Journal on how difficult it is to completely sever ties these day (especially of the romantic sort) in the age of technology. Whether it's a 5 year relationship or just a few awkward dates from an online site, one has to remove the ex from cell phones, instant messanger buddy lists, friendster (not to mention changing status back to 'single' from 'in a relationship) among other things. And this is also true of former friends, and even the occaisional overbearing acquatinance. I recently blocked an old friend who I no longer see or talk to on the phone from my email. She was sending me forwards, which is annoying, plus they were religious. So, she's blocked.

This gave us the idea for the auto-reply. You know when you are out of work and you can set your email to tell people you are away? Or have you ever received a spam-filter reply saying your message can't go through because the recipient doesn't have you in their secure list? Well, maybe these ideas could somehow combine. Wouldn't it be great if you could set your email and other electronics so that your bad date, crazy ex, or annoying cousing or not-so-friendly friend could receive an automatic "out of my life" reply? Maybe one of these would work:

Re: Automated "Out of My Life" Reply

Hello. Thanks for your message. Sorry, but we are no longer friends/lovers/dates/co-workers/relatives or in some other way bonded. I appreciate your persistence, but can no longer help you with any inquiries. If you need immediate help, please contact a more current friend/lover/date/co-worker or relative.

Re:Relationship Spam Filter

The message you are sending has been blocked due to the fact that the recipient wishes to sever your relationship. Should you wish to change this status...well, sorry, you cant.

Any techies have advice on setting this up?

A true member of our family knows how to sleep, and make it look good 

Words cannot describe 

Ready for her close up 

She's so tiny! 

By Request

I was trying to hold off on inundating everyone with pictures of my niece (aka: cutest baby alive). However, you asked for it, so here they are. More non-baby related blog content soon.
Enjoy!

Welcome Charley! 

Charley is here!

For the past nine months, I have been eagerly awaiting my new role as an aunt. Yesterday, it happened. My niece was born, and I am officially convinced that she is the best baby ever born. Cute, sweet, tiny and a 9 on the apgar scale. She weighs 7 lbs, 3 oz and is 20.5 inches long (pretty tall for a member of our family). Mom and baby are doing great. Holding her was the most amazing experience I have ever felt. Who knew you could instantly love someone? Happy Birthday Charley!

Brokebat Mountain.  

Late Night Snack

Have you ever heard that joke where someone says they dreamt of eating a huge marshmallow and when they woke up their pillow was gone? Allow me to tell an embarrassing, yet entertaining story of this nature.

First, I must mention that I sometimes sleep with wax earplugs. They drown out background noise, snoring and generally help me sleep soundly. Monday night I put my earplugs in my hand as my girlfriend and I were going to sleep. We talked for a while, and I fell asleep without putting in the earplugs.

Then, in the middle of the night I woke up. I was still half asleep and I noticed I could hear some snoring. So I thought to myself I should put in my earplugs. Turning my attention to my hand, I realized they were missing. Where could they be?

It was then that I reached another level of being awake and I suddenly realized I was CHEWING on something.

Yes, I ate my wax earplugs in my sleep. I immediately shot out of bed and ran to the bathroom to spit the remaining wax out.

What would make me do this? Why would I put them in my mouth, never mind chew and swallow some? From now on, no foreign objects smaller than a breadbox in the bed.

Have you ever eaten something unintentional in your sleep? Gum in your hair is one thing, but this is a bit out of hand.