If you like beauty products...you may also have an eating disorder!

I like to shop online. It's easy, quick, and you don't have to carry stuff home. Today as I was checking out drugstore.com, I happened upon this page. I was looking for my favorite Dove Cucumber Body Lotion, and accidentally landed on their "firming lotion" page instead. Interested to read exactly what this lotion claimed to 'firm,' I scrolled down the page. Here I saw the "if you like this product, you might also like..." Suggestions. Now what do the drugstore.com folks think of those that purchase Dove firming lotion? Apparently, we also need to purchase diuretics (yuck!) and/or chafing relief cream. I'm surprised they didn't also include links to girdles or ipecac. And isn't Dove the company who has been running those ads with the women who love their curves? I guess they don't love chafing.

Cologne for Your every Mood

 

Scent-o-Matic

I am from New Jersey, and I consider myself somewhat of a veteran when it comes to diners. I have been to big diners, small diners, fancy diners, cruddy diners, diners of every sort. And in every one you can order breakfast all day, usually a dinner with so many courses and portions you could never eat it (unless you are my parents who intentionally go and order 1 to share), a variety of burgers and my favorite, fries with cheese & brown gravy.

You can imagine that I was taken aback last week when I went to a diner in Saratoga, NY and was surprised. It was not the menu, but the bathroom that was the highlight of the experience. On my way out of the restroom I noticed the "scent-o-matic," a vending machine for perfume. It seems so old-school, yet the scents provided were J.Lo's "glow", Tommy Girl and Eternity. For only 25 cents, you can spritz yourself to smell like a 14 year old. Who knew?

Your Daily Dosage (of feminism, that is)

For those days when my blog is not updated, here are a few sites I've been turned on to recently.

First, Erin (aka best-girlfriend-ever) sent me this site. I'm sure you are familiar with the whole "abstinence-only" movement, which I like to think of as the "religious freaks are bribing our school stystem to brainwash our children" program. Well, I can't tell if this site is real or a satire, but it really brings a new perpective to the whole issue. Enjoy!

The other site is here. Finally, a site encouraging cell phone use that I can support! They ask that when you experience street harassment, you use your camera phone to take a picture for posting. Take that construction workers! Sock it to that guy who hangs out near the subway entranace and can not keep his trap shut! Make sure everyone knows that street harassment is not OK!

too cute not to post 

For all you lawyers, this is some kind of baby-as-legal-pun. 

Charley finds a toy! Next stop-nuclear physics. 

More Pics

I know, I know, I haven't been blogging. Here are some pictures of my adorable niece to try to make up for it. More funny content soon.

Coulda Been Hanita

One of my high school friends recenlty told us that she is having a baby (congrats!). To this end, our friends have been discussing a lot of names and the process of naming. The question came up, "what was your parents second choice for a name?" For me, the answer to this is "Hanita." First of all, I don't really think this is a name, despite my mom's refusal to admit it. Thinking about my life as Hanita makes me think of constantly repeating myself, constantly worrying that I will have bad breath and the need to overpronounce the "H" in my name will make everyone aware of this flaw, among other issues. I decided to google Hanita to see if there were other famous Hanita's that I could find. Maybe, there are plenty of Hanita's out there living productive, happy lives. Well, this is what I found.

It's a kibbutz. A collective farm/community in, of all places, Israel.

All I can say is, once again, Dad-thanks for stepping in. I may be Jewish, but not a Zionist. I'm not that kind of Jew. And, I may be a lesbian, but I do not believe in communes. I'm not that kind of lesbian. I guess I was just never meant to be Hanita.

I think it might rain

I usually check the weather online in the morning before I go out, and sometimes during the day as well. I expected it to rain today, but when I had only seen a few sprinkles by 2pm, I thought it might clear up. Looking at the National Weather Service, I guess not. I mean, could they at least leave us a drop of hope? (pun intended) Their report follows.

Tonight: Rain likely, then periods of rain and possibly a thunderstorm after 8pm. Some of the storms could produce heavy rainfall. Low around 42. East wind 9 to 14 mph becoming south. Chance of precipitation is 100%. New rainfall amounts between three quarters and one inch possible.

The Electronic Kiss Off

My brother in law Jeff (who gives me tons of great material for this site) told me yesterday about this article in the Wall Street Journal on how difficult it is to completely sever ties these day (especially of the romantic sort) in the age of technology. Whether it's a 5 year relationship or just a few awkward dates from an online site, one has to remove the ex from cell phones, instant messanger buddy lists, friendster (not to mention changing status back to 'single' from 'in a relationship) among other things. And this is also true of former friends, and even the occaisional overbearing acquatinance. I recently blocked an old friend who I no longer see or talk to on the phone from my email. She was sending me forwards, which is annoying, plus they were religious. So, she's blocked.

This gave us the idea for the auto-reply. You know when you are out of work and you can set your email to tell people you are away? Or have you ever received a spam-filter reply saying your message can't go through because the recipient doesn't have you in their secure list? Well, maybe these ideas could somehow combine. Wouldn't it be great if you could set your email and other electronics so that your bad date, crazy ex, or annoying cousing or not-so-friendly friend could receive an automatic "out of my life" reply? Maybe one of these would work:

Re: Automated "Out of My Life" Reply

Hello. Thanks for your message. Sorry, but we are no longer friends/lovers/dates/co-workers/relatives or in some other way bonded. I appreciate your persistence, but can no longer help you with any inquiries. If you need immediate help, please contact a more current friend/lover/date/co-worker or relative.

Re:Relationship Spam Filter

The message you are sending has been blocked due to the fact that the recipient wishes to sever your relationship. Should you wish to change this status...well, sorry, you cant.

Any techies have advice on setting this up?

A true member of our family knows how to sleep, and make it look good 

Words cannot describe 

Ready for her close up 

She's so tiny! 

By Request

I was trying to hold off on inundating everyone with pictures of my niece (aka: cutest baby alive). However, you asked for it, so here they are. More non-baby related blog content soon.
Enjoy!

Welcome Charley! 

Charley is here!

For the past nine months, I have been eagerly awaiting my new role as an aunt. Yesterday, it happened. My niece was born, and I am officially convinced that she is the best baby ever born. Cute, sweet, tiny and a 9 on the apgar scale. She weighs 7 lbs, 3 oz and is 20.5 inches long (pretty tall for a member of our family). Mom and baby are doing great. Holding her was the most amazing experience I have ever felt. Who knew you could instantly love someone? Happy Birthday Charley!

Brokebat Mountain.  

Late Night Snack

Have you ever heard that joke where someone says they dreamt of eating a huge marshmallow and when they woke up their pillow was gone? Allow me to tell an embarrassing, yet entertaining story of this nature.

First, I must mention that I sometimes sleep with wax earplugs. They drown out background noise, snoring and generally help me sleep soundly. Monday night I put my earplugs in my hand as my girlfriend and I were going to sleep. We talked for a while, and I fell asleep without putting in the earplugs.

Then, in the middle of the night I woke up. I was still half asleep and I noticed I could hear some snoring. So I thought to myself I should put in my earplugs. Turning my attention to my hand, I realized they were missing. Where could they be?

It was then that I reached another level of being awake and I suddenly realized I was CHEWING on something.

Yes, I ate my wax earplugs in my sleep. I immediately shot out of bed and ran to the bathroom to spit the remaining wax out.

What would make me do this? Why would I put them in my mouth, never mind chew and swallow some? From now on, no foreign objects smaller than a breadbox in the bed.

Have you ever eaten something unintentional in your sleep? Gum in your hair is one thing, but this is a bit out of hand.