This is not a pizza. 

Children's Art Sucks!

Well, sometimes it's cute. My brother-in-law showed me this site yesterday which highlights children's art and provides commentary on each piece. Nothing witty I can say will hold a candle to the actual site, so just go look at it.

Happy Birthday! 

Happy Birthday-Birth Control!

It's been 40 years to the day since the Supreme Court first ruled that states could not bar doctors from providing contraception counseling and supplies to married couples. In Griswold v. Connecticut, the Court first recognized the right of privacy that was later extended to all people in matters of reproductive health.

Can you believe that it was only 40 years ago that birth control was illegal? Can you believe this landmark decision still limited birth control to married couples? Can you belive that there are cases popping up all over the country where pharmacists refuse to give birth control because of moral objections?

Celebrate the birthday of birth control by having some safe yet nonprocreative sex today. And remember, the only 100% effective form of birth control........homosexuality.

Baby, You're Sleeping Alone Tonight

After my girlfriend pointed this ad out on the subway this morning, I went to the NYC Dept of Health Site for the "safe sleeping" brochure they offer. The summary:

Babies should never be allowed to sleep with anyone who:
• Is overweight.
• Has been drinking alcohol.
• Has used marijuana or other drugs, or has taken
medication that makes you sleepy.
• Is ill or extremely tired.

Do people really need this advice pointed out to them? Are people rolling over onto their babies in their sleep? That is horrifying.

If the points on the list above do not fall under 'common sense' to you, please contact me about how you can refill your prescription contraception.

Love: It's All In Your Head! 

Crazy in Love

Today I read on NYTimes.com that researchers have found physiological changes that occur in the brains of people who are in love, and specifically in that stage of love that is new and causes you to act crazy. The study shows, they say, that love actually can make you act differently than you usually would, and that we lovers of the world can now officially shirk blame for acting anxious, euphoric, nervous, hyper, distracted, even outright nuts-placing the blame on love instead.

Just like phermones gave us an excuse to go crazy over someone we've just met, this study lets love=crazy behavior. The study also points out how, when this sort of love suddenly ends, the brain goes through withdrawal and-again-makes you act nuts.

As the article closes, I read this:
"In a separate, continuing experiment, the researchers are analyzing brain images from people who have been rejected by their lovers."

How exactly do you find people in the throws of rejection-induced-insanity? Picture the scene below at your local bar, coffeeshop or park:

Researcher (R): Are you ok?

Forlorn Person (FP): My girl/boy friend just dumped me.

(R):Do you want to talk about it?

(FP):Thanks that would be great.

(R): No problem, just let me hook up these electrodes....

Come on Girls! Clean it up for the cameras. 

Get it together ladies!

Do I like Ellen Degeneres? Sure. She's funny, I like her talk show, I think she can work that pant-suit thing pretty well. Do I think she's hot, not really. But, to each there own. She is certainly good looking and in shape.

Do I like Portia DeRossi? Sure. I love arrested development (thanks Mo for turning me on to this show), and even thought she was funny in Ally McBeal. She rocks a red carpet. Do I think she's hot? yes.

So why oh why does this couple appear so utterly disheveled and washed out here at a charity event in NYC last week? Come on lesbians, I'm doing my part to break the stereotype, you have to do the same. When you are known as a beautiful woman like Portia, don't throw it all down when you get into the girl-0n-girl relationship. Stay hot, and prove those frumpy-lesbian-stereotypes wrong!

These girls know it's so hard to find good produce

Starving Socialites Saved!

Thank goodness! FreshDirect, the online grocery and delivery service many New Yorkers have grown to love has expanded. Where? To the Hamptons of course! Now celebs, socialites, and throngs of twenty-something sharing tiny rooms while they try to convince themselves that the experience is:

1. totally worth the money and
2. classier than going to the Jersey shore (you wish!....well, maybe)

will be able to have fresh produce without having to go to the dreaded grocery store. You always wondered why those famous-for-being-famous ladies were so skinny. Now you know, they don't have eating disorders, they're just lazy. Thank you fresh direct. Without you, these ladies may have wasted away and my subscription to US weekly would be worthless.

The Legal Seafood “Experience”

Well I had a great weekend in Boston. I caught up with high school friends, bought a cute hat (photo forthcoming), and celebrated the birthday of someone I've known for 25 years. Our birthday dinner was, however, somewhat of a disappointment.

We went to Legal Seafood, a restaurant I usually enjoy and have wondered in the past why there are no NYC locations. Our waiter very nicely came over and told us the specials.

So-and-so appetizer 24.00,
this little tasty dish, 32.00,
and on and on.

I guess we didn't notice he stopped giving us the prices as he sold us the "experience." Several kinds of shellfish all fried up and tasty, most of which I am allergic to, but hey there were 8 of us, who doesn't like to share a nice appetizer.

Well, to our surprise, the real "experience" was that of shock when we read on the bill that this one appetizer had cost $66! I guess our waiter saw our large party and included gratuity and decided to get to work saving up for that new Red Sox Cap. Freakin' Bostonians. Sheesh.

Why do they call it bean town?

I'm going to Boston for the weekend. Read this, and maybe you'll see some of the fun spots I visit. Full report on Monday. In the meantime, if you're bored, I know a really fun Laundromat.....

Celebrity Spell 

Celebrity Sighting!

I just saw Alyson Hannigan (from buffy the vampire slayer, American Pie) coming out of City Bakery. I guess even celebrities can't resist their amazing Hot Chocolate. They even have Cold Hot Chocolate for summer. Yummm.

Its so weird when you see a celebrity. I knew it was her, yet I couldn't believe it. Then I just stared and looked goofy until she walked away. It's like when you were young and you'd see your teacher in the grocery store, but this time they're hot.

Recent Laundry Slogan Suggestions

a few coming in offline....

"don't get tied up doing your laundry" (thanks Robin), and I would add "that's our job"
"A good cleaning for your dirty little mind"
"No more wire hangers? Call SM Laundry"
"45 Cents per pound..ing"

From Negligee to Negligence

Maybe the SM post has got me thinking with a dirty mind, but I read this and had to tell the story: There was a suit brought in Massachusetts where a guy sued his girlfriend for negligence after she injured him during sex. Not with whips or chains or anything, just by "shifting her weight in a painful manner." I agree with this blogger. This is an awesome Law and Order Episode waiting to happen.

SM Laundry Slogans

I hope this post was worth the wait. I really like the slogan below, but now that I have one, I am frustrated trying to think of some more. Maybe something about knowing what to do with your delicates? I'm open to suggestion.

PS-this is a real store I pass every day on 4th avenue in Brooklyn.

We Beat Stains......And They Like It! 

Weekend Recap

I have a post I have been waiting on, but I need to find a photo before I can put the whole thing together. Sorry. In the meantime.

Thanks to everyone who sponsorred me for the AIDS Walk. You can find some fun photos of me walking (and my pre-walk night of karaoke) on Dan's Blog. I also went to an awesome italian place on St. Mark's called Paprika on Sunday night, which was awesome. Go there!

More posts soon, hopefully. I promise to stop and take photos on my way home today.
I know , the suspense is killing you.

Reason # 843 Why I am Scared to Drive.  

Spring, please come out and play!

When oh when will I walk down the city streets enjoying the sun without a sweater? It's almost Memorial Day! I know in a few weeks I will be complaining about the binary between the hot sweaty city and the freezing A/C-filled environments in every office building, store and subway car, but for now my thoughts turn to something more temperate. Remember when there used to be 4 season?

Spring, I miss you.
Please visit me soon.
I live in Brooklyn.

Overuse May Lead to Unsatisfactory Conditions 

Overuse May Lead to Unsatisfactory Conditions

What does this picture say to you? Biff's. It seems like a 50's diner or a hardware store, or something wholesome like that. Actually, Biff's website describes the company as a supplier of "a wide variety of portable restrooms designed to meet your needs from construction sites to wedding receptions." First of all, wedding receptions? That is not cool. Note to marriage inclined friends: if you ever make me use a portable toilet in a bridesmaid dress, our friendship is over...way over.

By the way, Biff's slogan is "Dedicated to Protecting Your Health, Welfare and Dignity Since 1986." I think dignity is a reach.

Why the sudden toilet talk? Yesterday, while on a romantic walk through the park, my girlfriend and I stopped at (most romantic of places) a porta-potty. Yuck. Well, I usually avoid toilet humor on my blog, and during any romantic moment, but this seemed funny enough to break the rules.

On the inside of the stall door, a notice was posted:
"This facility is equipped for use by 10 persons per week...Overuse may lead to unsatisfactory conditions." This leaves me to wonder, what are the "satisfactory" conditions of a portable toilet. Have you ever been in one that seems satisfactory? Aside from the usual yuckiness, the worst I have seen was at the Virginia Wine Festival one fall where the added bonus to the portable toilet was a broken glass feature. I have never hovered quite so expertly as I did at this festival.

On the Road Again

Dear Reader,

Thank you for taking the time to read whimper and whine. Over the next week, I will be traveling a lot, and I will not have internet access. Sorry. I promise to post all about my adventures in New Orleans and Chicago, when I return on May 10th. If you want to see what I'll be working on, I'm going to the annual meeting of the Society for Teachers of Family Medicine (STFM). Come on, I know you're jealous.

In the meantime, please amuse yourself with Hobocamp, Lesterhead and the other links on my page.

Almost Useful

In our day and age, we depend a lot on the internet for directions. And while mapquest, mapblast, and google maps do the job for driving, they sometimes leave us city dwellers a little lost. I have looked many times online for a map that will show the city streets (inlcuding brooklyn please!) along with bus and subway lines. The MTA bus maps are almost right, but still leave some small streets unlabeld. Plus, they are too big to print out on standard paper.

Enter hopspot.com:

This site gives you walking, subway, bus, and any combination thereof directions for anywhere in the city. It still has the trouble that mapquest has of being a bit too based in data and not in the real world.

Just as on mapquest you might find a ramp to a service road that takes about 2 seconds to drive over labeled as “route 24AA,” leading you to miss your entrance while desperately looking for street signs, hopspot tells you that from 18th st, you should to do things like take the local at 23rd st when you could get there faster by taking the express at union square. The site doesn’t understand express, and probably thinks of Union Square as 14th, and forgets the entrances on 17th. But I digress.

It does give you a quick idea on which subways are near your destination, and how to use the ever-mysterious (and anxiety producing at times) bus system. Give it a try. Go from Red Hook to Astoria-I dare you.

Brooklyn Local Finds Monday Night Fun

Well, Monday night is not the best time to try to find a party spot in brooklyn. But, I did find a fun, free event that I recommend. Magnetic Fields has an open-mic DJ booth on Mondays. Bring your own i-pod, vinyl or cd’s and you can spin for 30 minutes. If the DJ’s are less than delightful, you can also go a couple doors down to Floyd, where they have a bocce court in the bar (shout out to my sis who told me about this place). Also, across the street at Last Exit you can find trivia every other Monday, with karaoke on off weeks. Looks like Atlantic Ave between Henry and court is the place to be for fun Mondays in NYCs best borough.

TGI....Monday?

A friend of mine (although not a good enough friend that she ever reads my blog, arhg!) is coming into town tonight and I've taken the day off work tomorrow. The request for her big night out in the city is dancing. Anyone know somewhere good to go out Monday night? Must be cheap or free and Brooklyn is a plus. Providers of good tips will be rewarded with credit online as well as my ongoing love and affection.

I HAVE WIRELESS!

After only 6 months of procrastinating and generally being lazy, I finally figured out my home internet access. I am posting from by bedroom right now. Here's to posting nights and weekends in the future!

Bon Jour!

Fellow whimperers and whiners, I have returned. Sorry for dropping off the face of the internet for a few days, but I was visiting Montreal for business. The city is beautiful, and it's nice to travel somewhere where the dollar is actually worth something. Who needs Europe. Montreal has crepes, a decent music scene, and labello lip balm. So if you're wallet is kind of empty, but you have that yen for all things Euro, try travelling up North. It's like France, without the rudeness and anti-semitism.

I love you Tift! 

I Heart Tift!

Last night I went to see Tift Merritt, an awesome country/bluegrass/gospel/ beautiful female singer at the Bowery Ballroom. Her voice is like a combination of the smooth vocals of sara McLaughlin and the soulful awesomeness of Janice Joplin. And her band plays awesome country while looking like 5 slick hipster boys. Tift sang her heart out, played the guitar and harpsichord (I think), shook the maracas (that is not a euphemism) and the tambourine for a set that lasted 2 hours! Everyone should check her out, go out and buy her album or at least pay to download "good hearted man," "stray paper," and "tambourine."

Oh Baby Baby... 

Britney's Bump

The days of denial are over. Britney and Kevin have announced that Britney is indeed expecting a baby girl this fall. This will be the first child for Britney and the first legitimate child for Kevin. Congrats. Countdown on the tell all book-18 years, 5 months. Countdown on pages and pages of tabloid coverage of the 'bump'-about 5 minutes. Britney has really sped up her approach to mimicking Madonna. She'll be making (more) bad movies, writing children's books and faking an English accent by 2006.

The Man Date

Did you read the Sunday Styles section this weekend? I did. The main story was about the Man Date (no-not mandate-two words). The whole article was a tongue-in-cheek story about how awkward it is for two straight men to get together. Who knew there were all these rules? Going out to share some beers-ok. Going out to share a bottle of wine-not ok. Going for a walk-ok as long as one of you has a ball or some sports equipment. Walking thought the museum-a bit awkward.

At first I was feeling sorry for all you straight guys that just going out with a friend causes such social confusion. Then the article pointed out that men use to have close friendships all the time before women became seen as equals. Sorry guys, didn't mean to ruin your ability to communicate with each other just by asking for equal pay.

Also I remembered that men rule the world, so maybe it's not such a big sacrifice that they can't spend go to dinner at fancy quiet restaurants without us to set them at ease.

How Could I Not Post This? 

Beware the Norwalk Virus!

I'll consider today's post a PSA in support of handwashing (shout out to all my ocd pals who are already on top of this issue). I have spent the last week dealing with a really awful stomach virus that I will spare you any photos, links or descriptions of, other than to warn you that it's going around NYC and is contagious. In my office of 4, 2 of us have had this since Saturday. My girlfriend has it. Other friends in the neigborhood have told me of their sick colleagues as well. So wash up, and hopefully you will be spared the experience. Good luck! Please post comments if you are part of this new 'trend' of spending your weekends praying to the porcelain god without the fun of partying the night before. Maybe we can start a support group and all get together and drink gatorade.

Take me to the Opera! 

Post-Easter Opera Tips

Have you ever been to the opera at the Met? I have, and it's lovely. The sets are elaborate, the hall is beautiful, the voices blow you away. The orchestra amazes. But sometimes there are noises that distract. Coughing, the occasional whistle of a hearing aid whose owner has fallen asleep, and the dreaded crinkle of candy wrappers can all be disturbing.

Luckily for me, when I went to Don Carlo last night, my mom thoughtfully brought a sweet treat that is perfect for the opera-PEEPS. You do have to open the cellophane in advance, but once that is done, you have a sweet treat that makes no noise when you eat it-especially if you eat the head first.

Unluckily, this did not prevent one noticeable noise. In the scene when Rodrigo is shot, I was so surprised that I actually yelled out. Sorry fellow opera queens. I wasn't expecting gunplay.

I did my taxes!

Amongst other things that were much, much more fun, I did my taxes this weekend. Someone told me about a site that helps you figure out what you need to file for, and does all the work for you for $15. This is probably a similar cost to buying the software, but I'm still glad I chose to use the site. It was super fast, and they have a whole system of 'alerts' letting you know if you are being inconsistent or have done something wrong. State and federal can be filed at once, and you can even e-file and arrange direct deposit. Good news-my refund is enough for an i-pod. Better news-I'm being mature and using it to pay down my credit card instead. Good for me.

Didn't your high school clique look like this?

Weekend Plans?

I have been seeing ads for this movie, D.E.B.S., and I guess I will just have to force myself to see it. Hmm, high school girls in uniform fighting crime due to their 'special' skills in lying, cheating and manipulation...sounds like entertainment to me.

Otherwise I'll be home alternating between eating Peeps and Hamentaschen.

S Shuttle in Prospect Heights 

Welcome to the Nabe!

In honor of one of my loyal readers, Chris, I'm posting this picture of the Prospect Heights Shuttle. Before Chris & Fred moved to my neighborhood (or at least much closer than LIC), I hadn't even heard of this train. I thought I knew 'em all. I guess I'm due for a trip to the transit museum.

Walking my way? 

Walk this Way

After a lovely walk over the Brooklyn Bridge on Saturday, I saw these funny light-bright-ish walkers at the Tweed Courthouse. I thought it was a much prettier picture to start the blog with this morning. No more dental post until next week, I swear.

At least they're not wood!

As a friend of mine kindly compared me to George Washington last night, I reflected on the latest tale from the Dentist. I guess in all my root canal research a few weeks ago, I should have also researched the dreaded "crown." I guess I had no idea what this was. My dentist did a very very poor job of explaining it. I can't even bring myself to write the details here, though you can follow the link. All in all, I now have a temporary (thank god not permanent) crown on that seems to be much larger than all my other teeth. Is this where dental technology has advanced to?

Hey, next time you see me, tell me I look nice. Thanks.

One of these things is not like the others!

Happy St. Patty's 

Mazel Tov! It's St. Patrick's Day

Well, it’s St. Patrick’s day. In honor of the holiday, I am choosing to honor not one, but two, parts of my family heritage. Yes, I am an Irish Jew. Who knew we were out there? You know us Jews, can’t get rid of us no matter how hard you try. Actually there is a whole history of Irish Jews. There is even a book and movie about it (Shalom Ireland). Any other interesting mixes out there? Irish Buddhists? Jewish folks from Papua New Guinea?

Wing Man, Wing Woman, Wing...Bian?

First, thanks to my brother for inspiring this story (credit where credit is due).
We have all heard of a wingman, a guy who helps his pal pick up women. Apparently, an article recently came out about men who prefer a lesbian as their wingman, or “wing-bian” if you will. This is a woman who picks up women and hands them over to her male pals. Reflecting on this definition, I guess I have done this for a friend or two. I guess this is a good strategy for guys, unless you have a greedy wingbian, out to steal your prospects and using the winbian thing as a cover (I would never do that).

In researching this story I found you can even be a professional wingwoman. I’m not sure where the line falls between this and an escort service, but all my friends who need work, check this out make sure to tell me about your adventures in wingwork.

Happy Housewarming! 

The Perfect Gift

I have always thought it important to be a "good gifter"- that is to put thought into gifts and really think about the recipient and occaision when shopping.

I saw this item and was immediately intrigued. It was the perfect housewarming or wedding gift, for that special someone that you don't like. I hardly ever know what kind of presents to give people I dislike. Luckily someone has come up with items like these that say "Enjoy your new life. Now leave me out of it or else." Maybe it comes from my background working at Hallmark as a teen, but I love finding something that can sum up my feelings for someone this way.

Abstinence-Now for Hipsters

That's right, even those in Williamsburg can now experience the Joy of (no) Sex. Abstinence isn't just for young Christians, neo-cons, or President Bush. With gear like this trendy hat below, you can tell your friends on Bedford Ave that they will not be gettin' any from you.

Abstinence Only Gear 

Yeah Photos!

When I first started my blog, picture posting was an extra fee, but now Picasa 2 has made it free again. So enjoy Go-Go, and more pictures to come in the future!

I think I have photo posting! 

Oatmeal Scotchies = Happiness

Sorry the posts have been slow lately. It was a very busy weekend. Details will be provided another time. It was so busy, in fact, that I spent part of Monday afternoon at my sister's apt recovering and receiving some very intense TLC. And what form did this special tender-loving-care take? Why, what could aid my mental and physical recovery better than some delicious oatmeal scotchies? If you don't know what these cookies are, you are missing out, and should go out and get the ingredients to make this recipe right now. They are a signature dish in my family reserved only for occaisions of extreme joy or extreme drama. Please enjoy in moderation.

How Delightful

I was doing some serious, work-related research on the Ann Taylor website this morning (stalking a dress that will hopefully go on sale one day). In reading over the site, I noticed something. Ann Taylor has a mission. "Ann Taylor's mission is to delight you." Doesn't that just sound lovely? I always thought thier mission was to create an army of pastel colored working women. Or maybe, like any business, their mission is to make money. No, they are interested in the practice of "delighting."

Working for a nonprofit, I'm familiar with the concept of a mission, but I've never read one that is quite so..well...delightful. Maybe they really are an evil corporate giant that tries to push conformist gender stereotypes on women, but they just seem so sweet. Ann Taylor, you have delighted me.

Maybe tomorrow the Gap will hug me and Banana Republic will bring me breakfast in bed.

Finally, Top Model Returns

A busy day of working leaves me with little time or energy to blog. But I couldn't resist a reminder that America's Next Top Model is Returning for it's 4th "cycle" (as they call it). Tonight is a "where are the diva's now" special about Cycle 3, but tomorrow at 8, and most wednedays after that, you'll find me hanging with Tyra. Did you know they have an AMTM newsletter? Well, they do.

Thanks Dad

This weekend I took some friends up to my family’s country house in Kingston, NY. It’s nice because it’s outside the city, and there is the quiet and nature to enjoy. We actually spent a lot of time knitting and playing cards, but did make a very successful excursion to the sewing store and to Keegan Ales-a local brewery with a generous tasting room staff.

I also got a very important lesson in “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree” when I realized I was overjoyed to see the 2 pages (back AND front) of directions created by my Dad on how to use the gas fireplace. It even had a diagram. While sometimes I criticize myself for being overly detail oriented and “decorating” my desk with a variety of color-coded post-its, it is good to know that this same quality protected me and my friends this weekend from gas leaks and explosions. Thanks OCD, and thanks Dad. I love you both.

The Good, The Bad, The Jersey

Last night I had a very heated discussion on the merits of Phillip Freneau, poet of the American Revolution and Matawan, NJ's native son. After many points were made, and Mr. Freneau was googled several times, we finally had agreement that he is a well known American Revolution Age poet and was indeed from the town next door to my own home town. I left feeling vindicated that good, wholesome, and important things come out of New Jersey, even my home county of Monmouth.

This afternoon I read this. Several mayors and city officials in Monmouth county were awoken and put in handcuffs this morning as the FBI arrested and booked them for extortion and taking bribes. Thanks Jersey. And yes, this includes the mayor of my own hometown of Hazlet. Go rockets!

Tooth Update

I know that most of you don’t read this to find out about my dental needs, but after receiving a few phone calls, I felt like I should let everyone know that I worked out my benefits issue with the union on Tuesday morning and have just scheduled my much-anticipated root canal for next Thursday. Also, I’m posting the dental animation link again because of positive feedback. Enjoy! I promise more non-dental postings soon.

Soapbox Moment

While you may think that being on a conference call from 4-5pm on a Friday equals torture, I actaully just learned someting amazing. The NY State comptroller's office did a study in 2003 to see how much money would be saved if access was improved to emergency contraception, or EC (Note: this is the "morning after pill" and not RU-486-if you still are confused read more here).

If access to EC was improved even by half, the state would save....wait for it....

over $400 million annually. Do you know what we could do with that money? Suggestions?

It has been one of my missions of late to make sure all my friends know about EC, know that is it birth control-not an abortion, and know how to get it. Ask you doctor for a prescription to have around 'just in case.' You could save the state, and yourself a lot of money and stress. Alright, I'm stepping down from my soapbox now.

One more semi-related point: Jesus was the result of an unintended pregnancy. Discuss.

STRIKE!!!!!!! or something like that

So, I'm in a union. Now I know that when my workplace is treating me unfairly, I am supposed to go to the union. But who do you go to when the union mistreats you, the mob maybe?

Situation Toothache began simply enough about a week ago. I have been in my job for over 3 months and was told that means I have benefits. However, upon calling the union (from whom the benefits are derived) I was told that I was not in the system and it would take weeks. They aslo want me to come up to the bronx (about 1 and 1/2 hours from my office) to pick up the book of providers. Havent they heard of the internet? or mail?

Well, eventually I go to the dentist and have no problem being served. They call the union, and say I'm in. Then they tell me I need a root canal. Yuck! (by the way, if you go to the root canal link their are acutally games and animation at the american dental association site. sounds like fun eh?)

Aparently this is something so expensive you need pre-approval from, guess who-that's right, the union. Upon calling they tell me again I'm not in the system and that it would take weeks to work out. After breaking donw into tears, they admit that they do have a fax machine and I can resubmit my form to be processed today. Let's see if that happens.

Meanwhile my tooth hurts! If this continues I'm going down to their offices and standing on their desks like Norma Rae. I swear!

Time for VD

Thanks to everyone who helped me celebrate my annual anti-valentines event this weekend. I think the Kill Bill theme worked, and the Blue Ribbon sushi was delicious. Also, who knew that a mase is the perfect accesory for a plaid skirt and blazer?

Since today is actually the big VD, I found some cards that were more suited to my vision of this particular holiday. Enjoy!

Is mayonnaise Conservative?

This month is the annual hot chocolate festival at City Bakery, on 18th St btwn 5th & 6th avenue in Manhattan. My office is located exactly 1/2 block away, so I have been partaking of these yummy festivities, and you should too.

They have a different flavor of hot chocolate every day. Today I went to pick it up, and the calendar said today's flavor was "Red State Hot Chocolate." What does that mean? Apparently, it means that this particular cup of yummy looking chocolate liquid is actually made from-Mayo!

First of all, YUCK. Second, why is mayo a red state thing? I always thought mayo was more of a waspy Connecticut thing-Like a turkey sandwich on wonderfully with mayo. Anyone who lives/have lived in a red state know the mayo connection? Any daring mayo combinations I should try? And what do you think should go in Blue State Hot Chocolate?

Plans for the Day: Stalk Mariska Hargitay

They are filming Law & Order right outside my office! Now, I guess this could mean one of 3-4 shows with probably almost 50 actors, but I'm hoping to find Special Agent Olivia Benson. Wish me luck?

Of course, I already know the ending of this episode-the woman did it.

New York State Finally Acts Blue

Democrats all over may be pandering to conservatives with their red state stances on abortion, gay marriage and the like, but today NY State Supreme Court ruled that gays have the right to marry.

Now, gay marriage is really not my number one political agenda item. Partly, this is because I find it hard to advocate for civil recognition when queer kids in small towns are still getting beat up, couples still get denied for housing, and well, there are lots of other issues. I think marriage has become the centepiece because it appeals to that privileged part of the queer community that is often not affected by other forms of discrimination. Plus, I always thought that marriage being the "ideal" for straights was pretty oppressive as well.

That said, if you want to marry, you should be able to, and who knows maybe I'll even bat around the idea one day.

In the mean time, New Yorkers should be proud.

Sunlight Returns!

Yesterday at around 5pm, I was in my office and the best thing happened. I looked out the window, and what did I see? It was still light out! Yes, the sun is returning. Now that we are enjoying balmin 30-35 degree weather, I guess we all know that spring is just a few steps away. Lets just hope spring isn't stuck on a C-Train, trying to get here. In the meantime, try this little game that reminds us of the spring flowers.

12 Angry Men

Well, more like 2 men and 7 women who are more bored than angry. Just letting you all know that I have been on jury duty and will continue to be on it for the next few days. I can't talk about the case, but wait till you hear all the juicy details later this week. The Bklyn Supreme Court is a pretty exciting place.

Also, I'm going to this exhibit tomorrow night. Looks fun. I'll let you know. Talk to you soon!

I’m famous

Now many of you have heard the tale of how I lost my lovely one bedroom to the powers that be at Commerce Bank. If they want to build a huge suburban sprawling bank with a drive-thru, I guess they will. But the Slope won’t take it lying down. And curbed agrees! Who knew my apartment saga would appear on one of my favorite blogs (other than my own).

If you like real estate blogs, I also recommend this. It's all about the BK baby:)

"It's Your Turn"

Yesterday, at around 9:00 am, I was treated to a viewing of a wonderful film called, "It's Your Turn." It was about Jury Duty. Yes, I was called for the 3rd time, and therefore could postpone no longer. So I arrived at 8:45 at the courthouse, and was lucky enough to watch a film showing that if not for jurors like me doing their civic duty, we might as well be back in the days of witch trials throwing people under water and seeing if they float and are guilty or sink and are innocent.

Is this really a useful message in getting people to do their duty? Witch trials? How ab0ut just telling us how we get selected, how long it will take, and maybe providing free coffee? That would get me into it.

By the way I totally rocked the Juror News Crossword puzzle by 9:15. Then I was called into an enpaneling room to be questioned for a jury until around 4:00 with a lunch break I spent staying in from the ridiculously horrifyingly freeze-your-ass-off cold.

In the end, I'm on a case that starts next week. I also met a nice fellow juror who is a professor at Baruch and lives in my neigbhorhood. We spent the whole train ride home talking about politics and the nubmer of stupid people we see everyday (even when not serving our civic duty to prevent witch trials). While I can't blog about the case, I'll keep you updated otherwise.

Tegan and Sara Rocked My Wednesday

Last night's show at the Bowery Ballroom was great. They're cute, they're candian, their sisters and yes, they're even queer. What else could I want in an indie/rock/pop act? I can't imaging. Check them out, and I'm sure you'll agree.

I once thought about starting a band with my sister. But I don't think they're as big an audience for 2 somewhat-uptight, jew-ish sisters from Jersey whose life experience includes such deep topics as law school, temping, and why we love brooklyn. Oh well.

DC Deja Vu

Last night I went out to happy hour with my co-workers, where we had some lovely wine and cheese and olives. Then, since it was still early we got in on the end of happy hour at another bar where I somehow decided to switch to vodka sodas. This resulted in me being home and drunk at a relatively early hour, and then trying to eat dinner to make up for the alcohol. Went to bed early.

Now this in itself is not such as strange turn of events. But what was strange was that it really reminded me of living in DC. DC is such a happy hour town. There are pro-choice happy hours, environmental happy hours, even republican happy hours. Getting drunk for less than $20 is something that seemed appealing when I first moved there, and then became really tired, really fast. What are you to do when you are home and drunk at 8:30?

This all got me thinking how each city really does have it's own social landscape. I have really only lived in NYC and DC. What other cities have these kind of characteristics? Is Boston a Guiness and Eggs town? Are Boulder, CO and Burlington, VT as similar in their party habits as they are in their architechture and number of neo-hippies per square mile?

Anyway, I think I am really glad that my DC happy hour days are behind me. Next time-dinner, then drinks, then bed. A much better order of events.

Return of the Lazy

I think returning from vacation last week took it's toll on my creative juices, but luckily, they are flowing again.

This weekend was so fun! I heard some live music on Friday, went dancing on Sat, and had a nice relaxing Sunday with brunch, a movie, and a delicious dinner at a friends. (Thanks Jay and Lana!). Just what a weekend should be. As far as reccomendations from this weekend, Keren Ann at Southpaw was less than stellar, but you should definitely see Kinsey.

As long as I'm making them, I'll also recommend Tegan and Sara at the Bowery Ballroom on Wednesday.

More updates soon! Have a great Monday (or try to).

My internet access hath returned! Thanks for your patience. This past week has certainly motivated me to figure out my home internet access issue once and for all. Anyone have advice on creating a wireless network between two desktops (one mac and one pc). I think maybe I need this, which also seems like it will be a cool ipod/stereo accesory. It's just such a pain to deal with these details when I'm at work 9-5. (or on days like today 10-6). Plus, accomodating the wishes of my roommate is still something to which I am adjusting.

Reading any good books lately? I did a lot of reading while I was internet deprived. I highly recommend Mountains Beyond Mountains, a true story about a doctor who makes it his life mission to treat the TB in poverty stricken communities and prove to the world that cost effectiveness is not the best metric for measuring the usefulness of healthcare interventions. The scariest part of this book was how transferable the funding debates are to those within the US. Next on the list “Eats, Shoots and Leaves” a book for punctuation sticklers.

2004...Going out with a bang!

Well readers, my office will be closed from Christmas Eve-Jan 3rd, and I will have intermittent internet access at best (try saying that ten times fast). So, as the year draws to an end, I'll just take the time to fill you in on my sentiments about 2004.

This year I went through a lot of Sh&*%T. I worked as a temp, spent my only vacation away for 10 days with my Mom, had to trade my beloved 1 bedroom for a share, my one time true love Britney Spears got all trashy and (even worse) married, and I felt generally as if I was going through a quarterlife crises.

But, I also had a lot of free time to enjoy the city, started going to the gym resulting in my hot new wardrobe, found a new job (to pay for said wardrobe), actually enjoy my funny Canadian roommate, and have already gotten a jump on my new years resolution to date more-or at least sleep around a little. So, all in all, I'm coming through it ok.

Thanks to all my family and friends for being there for me this year. I promise to reciprocate when/if your lives start to suck. Lets hope they don't.

Post me your resolutions and I'll check in with you about them during the year.

NYC Update: It’s Cold!

Well, it was actually much colder yesterday than today. Someone in my office was actually wearing a mink coat at her desk! Now maybe this is commonplace at, say, societywives.org but at my little nonprofit, it sends the wrong message. It’s not that I am a vehement anti-fur advocate, although I do think fur is kind of gross and tacky. Its just that nonprofit to me, means a somewhat small paycheck-or at least one ruling out mink officewear in the near future. Has anyone else seen this phenomenon?

America's Next Top Model Update

The votes are in, and America's Next Top Model is EVA. This "short" cutie (she's 5'7'') will soon be on billboard, runways, and magazines everywhere. Well, mabye we haven't seen much of the other two winners. But maybe 3 is a charm. Good luck Eva. Hope to see you somewhere other than Walgreens soon.

And yes, not only have they announced there will be a 4th season, but it has already been taped. Applications are up for Season 5!

The Rules According to Dreidel

What are the rules of dreidle you ask? The rules linked here seem to think that Gimel indicates some kind of german word for all, so that gimel means you get all of what's in the pot. Respectively, this set of rules says that Shin indicates a player should "put one in" to the pot from their stash. I have always thought it was gimel-give and shin-you win, but who am I to argue?

Now, for all of my goyim (non jewish pals), the words above may seem like some kind of code used for illegal gambling. Well, it kind of is.

Hope to see you all enjoying some latkes (potato pancakes) at my post chanukah open house tonight. Bring your dreidle!

Monday, Monday...

As usual, I convinced myself and my pals to go to our local neighborhood bar for some Sunday night drinks. I think I'm still on my schedule from being unemployed. While not too hungover, I did wake up to find some funny (I thought) symptoms of my drunkeness last night.

1. All clothes from last night-boots, socks, pants, top, jacket, scarf & gloves in a pile right in front of the bedroom door.
2. Very lovely knitting with one awful row at the top
3. Phone battery dead from the evil temptation whose name drunk dialing

Maybe I'll learn my lesson for next week, but we'll see.

I'm Sick....yuck!

I guess I had too much fun this weekend. Now I have that yucky cold that all my friends (hi beth) and co-workers have. Luckily, I'm spending tonight with my big sis getting some TLC-defined as Indian food, comfy couches, and the perfect balance of America's Next Top Model and West Wing. Thanks Sis!

Also, happy 2nd night of hanukah. Latkes will be forthcoming. As soon as I am not full of germs. I have 6 days to recover.

Big props to anyone who names the Jewish contestant from this season's ANTM (hint: it's not me silly)

Birthday Season Comes to a Close

Thanks once again to everyone for celebrating and putting up with my dedication to the 2 week-long birthday season. It is now officially over. Saturday night I had a party to christen my new place and celebrate the big 2-7. I'm sure you'll all be reading the details on Page Six, but I'll just let you know, a good time was had by all. It went until 4am, proving that 27 is NOT to old to party. Of course it will take me until next year to recover.

Highlights included:

A home-made birthday cake in the shape of um..well, boobs.
Sangria!
Not breaking any of my roommates belongings (yes, the wine came out of the futon)
Visits from all my pals-thanks guys!

See you all next year when I turn 28 on 11/28. I'm already sensing theme possibilities.

Celebrity News

Yes, finally a post centered on non-birthday news.

I have recently heard that everyone's favorite hobbit, Elijah Wood is moving to park slope. Asked about his return to the city, Wood is quoted saying “at some point, I am thinking about moving somewhere with trees, maybe Park Slope.”
Other sources tell me the new People goes into more detail.

Also, in America's Next Top Model News, Shandi-the runner up from last season is now working at walgreens in midtown.

Celebrity (and reality-star) stalkers, get to work.

Thanksgiving Roundup

What has gone on since last week? Well, I know the first thing coming to mind is probably my birthday, but there were a few additional events.

Wedesday-narrowly avoided the mess that became Penn Station. Actually, while I did avoid delays, it was still a super-humid, filled with travelers, stress producing, overall yucky train ride. But at least I got a seat.

Thursday-Turkey Day. I went to the gym in the morning under the impression that 35 minutes of running was enough to pre-empt the thanksgiving meal weight gain. Then I went home and had a lovely family dinner. My mom even invented a new cocktail (with some help from my brother-in-law). It was called the fruit basket. Basically sex on the beach with peach schnopps instead of triplesec. Soon it will be in all the clubs-substitute red bull for seltzer and it's a hipster delight. Totally Deck!

There was also major shopping, 2 pre-birthday bashes (as in appropriate) and some actual birthday fun on Sunday. But enough chronicling of events.

Following many of my blogger pals, I am thankful for:

my new apartment
my family
full time employment
park slope
great friends
and of course...

my birthday!
Don't worry, the season's almost over.

PS-Above brother in law also got in trouble for throwing away a perfectly good turkey wing. AND NOW EVERYONE KNOWS!

It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

No, not Thanksgiving. Definitely not Christmas. It's my Birthday of course!

Well, it won't really be my birthday until Sunday, but consider yourselves warned. With a birthday that falls over Thanksgiving weekend most years, some might let their special day be overshadowed or even forgotten-but not me. My Mom always told me that your birthday is the most important holiday all year, and she even made special dinners like spaghetti and meatballs or frankfurters in addition to the Turkey on the days when these two mega-holidays coincided.

It has become somewhat of a tradition for me to make sure no one ever feels the "sorry I forgot your birthday" guilt, by making sure that everyone in my life is aware. So here it is-first notice. Actually, first notice could have been my telling all my friends earlier in November, or dropping birthday gift hints to family over the past few weeks, or sending out invites to a party, but this is first notice for all my blog fans. Hi Chris!

Sunday the 28th I will officially be 27. Mark your calendars and set a reminder in Outlook. Cant wait to celebrate with you all on the days preceding, following and of course, on the big day itself.

Yeah birthday season! November 20-December 7: The Most Wonderful Time of The Year.

Next on the fecal roster-Karl Lagerfeld

While is was not on my blog, some of my friends have already heard my rant about local NYC vintage clothing chain Beacon's Closet, where I had a lovely salesgirl tell me my clothes were too big for them to sell. I was expecting too lame, but too big, come on!

Today, Karl Lagerfeld similarly pisses me off with his comments about his new line at H & M.

-Lagerfeld was also offended by the chain's decision to produce the clothes in larger sizes than he had envisaged. "What I designed was fashion for slender and slim people," said the designer who famously lost 42 kilograms two years ago. "That was the original idea." -

Sorry to ruin the original idea by selling clothes to women women above size 6! But at least he is including slender AND slim. Way to diversity KL.

Modern Day Mythology

We are having a little problem with our new email system. We keep getting 10 copies of each incoming message. When you delete them, the just reappear.

It's like one of those greek monsters who grow a new head each time theirs is cut off. Anyone know the name of this monster/myth? I was thinking Medusa, but I'm pretty sure that beheading was the end of her.

Maybe I'll write a sequel to office space based on my favorite myths. More to come.

Relaunch My Love

Well, my love for Britney has been waning as she takes up new hobbies like marriage and walking into gas station bathrooms barefoot (yuk!). But, I do love the new version of her website, especially the intro and photos. Enjoy!

Feminism "n" Stuff

I know most of my friends read Gothamist anyway, but for anyone else who scrolls by, here is an interview with Eve Ensler, famed for the Vagina Monologues.

You know me, any excuse to talk about vaginas.

News on the Pill

In today's "real news that sounds fake" file, we find this item. Apparently taking oral contraceptives, aka "the pill" reduces knee injuries in female athletes by loosening ligaments to allow for greater flexibility. Insert your own joke here.

I'll never eat crumb cake again!

After some excitement over the past few days I have good news and bad news.

Good News-despite being rushed to the hospital and having his gall bladder out, my Dad is feeling well and will be fine.

Bad news-After the doctor told us that gallstones have the consistency of thos big crumb balls on top of crumb cake, I will never be able to eat the stuff or even see it without cringing again. YUCK!

If you know any other delicious desserts or other treats that look uncannily like gastrointestinal blockages, feel free to post here.

Fighting the MTA Again

With rumors of the upcoming fare hike (AGAIN!) I am proud to announce that I used my monthly farecard yesterday not once, twice or the usual 3 times but 8 times. Between work, a meeting downtown, very necessary wintercoat shopping, going home, going to the time warner center in brooklyn (think cable box return window not shopping center with whole foods and burberry), then the gyme and finally home. Take that MTA!

Of course I was so tired from all that running around I could hardly motivate to the cabinet cleaning I was going to do at home, but isnt going out for dinner and a drink just as productive?

NPR Rocks My World...Again!

Last night I saw Ira Glass at Town Hall, and it was even better than I could have imagined. First, he was introduced by my not-so-secret girlfriend Sarah Vowell. Awesome. Did you know she is voicing the teenage daughter in the Incredibles? I may have to actually see a Disney movie now. Damn.

Then, Ira himself started the show in the dark. Then, as to give the audience a bit more than you get on the radio, the lights went up to reveal the "real" Ira Glass. Pretty much what I would have thought.

The show was funny, sentimental, politically aware, and basically everything you'd expect from the creator of This American Life. Then, Ira did a presentation of a DVD/radio documentary on Lost Buildings in Chicago with Chris Ware. It was really interesting, and if you like architecture and/or animation, it's worth checking out.

Anyway, thank you NPR.

It's Over.

Well, conspiracy theories aside, the election is over. And Kerry did not win. I'm not really sure how to feel about this. Some people are telling me that this will be the impetus we need to get off our collective democratic ass (no pun intended) and organize. I felt this way in 2000. Now I just feel kind of beat down.

Words of encouragement? I could use 'em. Thanks.

The Times, they are a-changin!

I know that I may have lost any of my readers by not blogging for two months, but if your're out there-so am I.

Here's a quick update of my life over the past 2 months.

1. I got a real job! No more temping. No more working for people who can't remember my name. No more meeting people at parties and having to say I'm "just a temp." Now I have a full time job, benefits, and soon business cards! Yeah!

2. I got a new apartment. The evil commerce bank has won this battle, and I live four whole blocks away from my old place. I have a new roommate, too. Hi Simon!

3. With all of these major changes happening in basically a 1 week window, I considered other radical changes as well. Maybe:
change religions-not really following mine anyway
change genders-pretty happy with the female thing...for now
change my long distance carrier-only have cell serivce
change presidents-DEFINITELY!

For now, I think I'll try to go back to some form of stability. Hopefully, this will include periodic blogging.

One more reminder before I go..

VOTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

5D49 5N63 Watch Out!

That's right, watch out I say-to the drivers of not one but two cabs who refused me service this evening. Some friends and I wanted to come home from Manhattan to Brooklyn with two stops-one in Ft. Greene and one in Park Slope. Lovely neighborhoods if I do say so myself. Well, both these cabs refused to visit.

And I quote from TLC's FAQ page (note use of excessive acronyms-I learned that from the nonprofit community):


• What are the rules concerning multiple-stop trips?
Drivers are not permitted to refuse passengers with more than one stop. There is no limit to how many stops are allowed. Keep in mind, the taximeter will run as one continuous trip; it is not turned off and then started again with every stop. You pay the entire fare at the end of your trip. If you encounter a situation where the driver refuses you service based on multiple destinations, get the taxicab medallion number, and contact us at 3-1-1 to file a complaint against the driver.

Being that I have friends in high places, or at least at the TLC, I will be following up on this one. Check back for more info on rule-breaking-mahattan-centric-multiple-stop-refusing cabbies
5D49 AND 5N63. I have your number!

Boycott!

This bank is buying my building and tearing it down, and now I have to move! I have been living here for almost 3 years (the longest I've been anywhere except Mom & Dad's). It's not enough that I have no real job, now I will soon be homeless. I love being 26.

If you love me or my blog, boycott Commerce Bank!

PS-if you have any apartment leads for me, post them as comments. Yours could be the helpful hint that keeps me on this side of the thin line between sanity and becoming "a bit of a nutter".

Where oh where?

Where oh where have I been? Well, not blogging as you can see. Sorry:(

I' ve been to so many places over the past few weeks.
Kingston, NY
The Jersey Shore
The Beer Garden (yes, again!)

And of course, temping. Temping is always such an adventure. This month I am somewhere where instead of the no-one-knows-or-cares-who-I-am usual fare, I get have found an organization full of overexcited-pleased-to-meet-you types who seemed refreshing at first. Now I realize it's really an office of those school-spirit types I wouldn't have spoken to in high school (despite my own high level dork stigma), and I don't really want to speak to them now. But, they pay me to, so I'm there. And since they have serious websurfing preventions software, I have been ignoring my blog. I can't even view it, nevermind post on it while I'm at work. I'll work on being more responsible to my readers, promise.